7. Command Resistance Center
Also known as the brain or attitude. A Yorkie as any owner knows, is just letting us think we are in control. They are toying with us and using us as the squeaky toy in their crazy, fired up world.
A Yorkie "obeys" us when the Yorkie damn well feels like it. Don't think you ever control your Yorkie. When you think that, you are truly in their power.
The Command Resistance Center is often used in conjunction with the unbearable cuteness of the Yorkie, to extort treats out of the human pet.
6. Food Detection System
Also mistakenly called the nose or snout. This is a combination guidance system, long range food radar, armor piercing bullet, drill and oh yes. It's always wet and cold. So it functions as a subtle alarm. BUT, subtle isn't in a Yorkie's vocabulary.
The strength of this part of the anatomy comes when trying to work out exactly which grocery bag the best tasting stuff is in as you enter their domain with 11 stuffed grocery bags. It also works very well from other rooms when you are in the kitchen and cutting something up that is tasty.
5. Long Distance Early Warning System
Also known as the bark, the yap, and...
As any Yorkie owner will tell you, this is pretty much their Kryptonite. No owner can beat the endless bombardment of the Long Distance Early Warning System. It wears all humans down in the end.
4. Big Dog Genes
Size doesn't seem to factor into the decisions made by a Yorkie. They will take on (and then run away from ) any dog of any size. They will utilize the Long Distance Early Warning System, mentioned in number 5, to face off against dogs, humans, small Central American countries. Really, the Big Dog Genes know no boundaries. Rumors have been traveling through the scientific community that the US Government have been trying to distill the key components of the Big Dig Genes into a format that can be taken by their crack squads such as Seal Team 6. We will have to watch and wait.
3. Mandatory Rubbing Area
Remember earlier on where we explained that you think you control Yorkies but they actually control you? This is the shrine where humans must pay allegiance and submit their will to their Yorkie God. Rub their tummy for hours and all is fine. Stop for 3 seconds to scroll down in this article or to share the Facebook post with friends and the Long Distance Early Warning System (see Number 5 above) goes off, after some initial whining.
2. Poop Factory
As described in many of the earlier points, as large part of the Yorkie's life and their finely tuned anatomy is used for the purpose of getting treats and other foods inside their body. Eventually this overabundance of foods has been processed by the Mandatory Rubbing Area (mentioned in point 3) and needs to be expelled so as to prevent the Yorkie from exploding.
This job falls to the Poop Factory.
There is no correlation between the amount of food eaten, the last time the Mandatory Rubbing Area was emptied, or the last time your Yorkie went outside to perform this task...and the need to go again. In fact it is usual for the Poop Factory to have worked effectively about 90 seconds before your Yorkie comes back inside the house, and then needs to go again. There is also no correlation between the amount of food eaten by your Yorkie and the amount of poop produced.
1. Mood Indicator
Also incorrectly known as the tail, or slightly more correctly known as the wagging machine, but it's scientific name is the mood indicator.
This device illustrates anything and everything that your Yorkie is feeling. Totally infallible piece of machinery that is said to be used by the USAF on the displays of it's AWACS early warning systems. Very good at signalling moods to it's minions (pet humans). If your Yorkie is happy it will wag at such a speed that small trees and traffic lights will sway in it's wake. This can be dangerous to the human as at some points it wags so much that a) the human turns to mush and b) they fall over with the breeze.
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